Over the years, I've heard a lot about the five love languages, and a couple years ago, I took the love language quiz and discovered that my love language is receiving gifts. My husband's love language is acts of service. If you do not already know your love language, the book includes a short, simple quiz to help you figure it out. This book provides examples of how having different love languages can cause issues in a marriage. Everyone wants to feel loved, but if your spouse shows their love in a way that is different than your love language, you can feel unloved when that's really not the case.
What I really found helpful about this book is that it suggests many ways you can show your love for your spouse in his/her love language even during deployments! This book is full of great advice and really makes you want to get creative about ways you can show your spouse you love him/her in his/her love language. Reading this book, also helped me see all the ways that my husband is showing his love for me in HIS love language, which I still appreciate because his love language is acts of service. I highly recommend that couples read this book together and discuss their love languages.
One example in the book really stood out to me. There's a wife who kept nagging her husband about painting a room in their home. Time kept going by and he still hadn't painted the room. His love language was words of affirmation.... So you can see that the wife nagging would be a problem! The counselor suggested that she praise him for the things that he had done instead of focusing on this one task that he hadn't gotten around to doing. The wife was skeptical, but she took the counselor's advice, and within three weeks, the room was finally painted. Apparently, verbal compliments are a much better motivator than nagging words... I'm going to have to remember that!
As an only child whose love language is receiving gifts, I really love the quote, "If you are to become an effective gift giver, you may have to change your attitude about money."